My mother was sexually abused at age 15 and because of this violation, she became pregnant. In those years, talking about sexuality or any similar theme was abhorrent to society of that time and partly because of the shame and disrepute to any family. My unwed mother faced this situation for six months and had to endure the fact of living a few meters from her abuser. After this time, her pregnancy belly began to grow becoming evident; I could not continue to be hidden.
It was a terrible time for my family — a shame, a reason not to lift her head, but the faith of my grandmother changed everything now. She decided, as guardian of my life and as being responsible as my mother, to give me the chance to live for the sake of God and trusting that His purposes are perfect for every human being, even in what seems to be adverse circumstances. My mom gave birth to me January 27, 1989. I was born under poor economic conditions, in the midst of a family crisis and of course, during very sad moments.
My mom could not endure so much pain, so she left home leaving me in the care of my grandmother for approximately 16 years. During my early years, my mom tried to be as present as possible in my growth, but from afar. The time and distance separated us every day.
I grew up in an evangelical Christian home, I spent my childhood and my education as a person in a Pentecostal congregation, which changed my way of thinking and living, and it also gave me value — that value that had been snatched from me by society, along with the lack of networks and support for a situation like ours.
At 16 years old, I faced a very strong existential crisis. I was going through my teens and wanted to find an answer, a reason for everything. I had lost the will to live, so they took me to psychologists and psychiatrists; I received various treatments, but nothing worked. One day, I decided to disappear in response to the need to know why I was not born in a normal family, consisting of my parents, brothers, etc.. Every day I lived was painful for me, so I took what I perceived to be “the easy way out” — I attempted suicide with pills. I had hit rock bottom. but God in His infinite mercy saved my life and gave me a reason to live, a hope, a salvation.
He pulled me out of despair and brought me peace, I realized that with God, everything has its reason, and we are all valuable to regardless of the mode or condition with which we come into this world. There are many reasons why I get up every morning and I thank God for the new day.
The road has not been easy for me, as with many others. God put in my hands all necessary measures and tools to face my life, to overcome my fears, but more importantly, He reminded me that He loves me and He cared for me from the womb of my mother — every detail of every last hair on my head. He reminded me that I am not alone, and I’ve never been alone. Psalms 27:10 says: “Although my father and mother leave me, the Lord will receive me.” This is like many a promise fulfilled in my life!
I am now 27 years old. At my side, I have a wonderful man who loves me with my strengths and weaknesses. I’m the mother of two beautiful children — one is 3 and the other not yet born. The struggle continues because every day we have giants to face; about a year ago, I detected type 2 diabetes, and in the following months became pregnant, which is considered to be a high-risk pregnancy because it can cause many complications in my condition, with risks to me and to my baby. But here I am still struggling with the help of God,
I love living! And I appreciate every second that I have, I do not worry myself about what happened, or what will come tomorrow. I live day to day, thanking the good and the bad circumstances, after all, we are a miracle of God.
As for the relationship with my mother, exactly 3 years ago an event occurred that marked our lives — the arrival of my first child. I was able to share with her at the time of her birth, and it was a special moment and a new opportunity for us. We are more united than ever, We are slowly recovering all the time we lost.
Until 1989, in Chile abortion was legal, but just in the same year — the year I was born — that law was abolished. For me it was not a coincidence — it was the hand of God, but not only on my behalf but also for many others who deserved to live.
Am I happy? Of course! Immensely — not because my life is easy — it is simply because I cling to my faith, that faith that believes the impossible. Perhaps to society my life was written for a failure, but it was not! My mom tells me “we turned her hand to the destination daughter.”
I want to tell everyone who reaches this witness of life; those confused mothers, young adolescents as was my mother, that life is a miracle of God, and that harder and crueler than the situation, is abortion because all deserve to live. Abortion is not a solution; the real solution is to form support networks in such dire situations like this. Maybe if my mother had had more support, it would have been another story.
The solution is not the approval of abortion in Chile — the solution is to form support networks in our country for these cases. No way is easy. The two options — abortion and delivering a live baby, life and death — generate some pain and for some people deeper than others, but there is a big difference between the two: life is hope, life is a miracle; abortion is murder, abortion is pain.
God’s will is perfect and I stick to that. Perhaps I am a fanatic to many, but that fanaticism saved my life and thank God today I have a wonderful life. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.”
http://www.salvarel1.blogspot.com/2016/03/mi-madre-me-dijo-le-torcimos-la-mano-al.html
BIO: Karina Silva lives with her husband and children in Santiago, Chile. She is a blogger for Save
The 1 and wants to help build a network of Spanish-speaking women who became pregnant by rape and those conceived in rape, through Salvar El 1.
