This morning I stepped out for ten minutes to run some errands since my little bundle of joy Ellis had fallen asleep. As I returned, I heard a cry. He had woken up as soon as I stepped out. I asked the woman helping me if my baby was awake. When he heard my voice, immediately, Ellis kept quiet, smiled and started to move his little head to try to locate me. I was moved to tears.
When I was pregnant, many people gave me a lot of pressure to eliminate this little prince. Why? Because some very wicked man who was obsessed with me since 2012 decided to rape me. Apparently, he thought if he couldn’t marry me, then maybe he would just take me and ruin my future. Well at the beginning, yes, he seemed to have succeeded.
I am a Christian, raised in a Christian family. Therefore, I was to marry a Christian man. I also worked for a Christian organization so any man who came my way and was not a Christian was a no-go zone. That was the reason I turned down the marriage proposal of this man.
I met this man near my home and he quickly started pursuing me and pressuring me to marry him. He was a doctor and claimed he was working for Johns Hopkins hospital. He promised he would do anything for me. All this did not matter to me because my upbringing taught me never to trust men who didn’t love Christ. I turned him down, but to him, it was like I had asked him to keep disturbing me. He even asked if I would at least go take a cup of tea with him. Well I did meet him for a cup of tea a few times, but near my home so that I could easily return home in case of anything.
I think it was from the few meetings that this man mastered what I drank because I always liked a Coke. Then on the 13th of May, 2015 at 6 p.m., I received a call from the same man — having not heard from him for several months — and he was asking to talk to me. I gave an excuse of being busy, but he soon announced that he was outside of my house. Of course I couldn’t have him enter my house since I was home alone. I went outside to talk to him and he quickly suggested we drive to a nearby eating place so we could talk. He seemed friendly and pleasant about it, so I did not object to what seemed harmless. Little did I know that the man had already worked out a plan to rape me.
When we got to the eating place, I asked for the usual Coke and I was served while he asked for a Fanta. I can’t explain entirely, but I started to feel hot and sleepy, and the next time I woke up, I was in this wicked man’s car with no panties, very weak, dizzy and in pain. It was obvious to me I’d been raped. He in turn was all smiles. I was horrified and so angry, but it was too late. The fool just drove off and that was the last time I ever set my eyes on him. When I reported the matter to the police, I was assured they would arrest him. To date, I have never got any positive news on an investigation or an arrest.
On the other hand, having run tests for HIV and pregnancy, I was free from the HIV virus — thank God, but I was positive to pregnancy. At that time, everyone had strong reasoning for me to carry out an abortion. First, my friends and family all knew it was a rape, and it was early so all I had to do was take a tablet. I was quickly reminded how I was a Christian and so the whole world would judge me for getting pregnant before marriage – regardless of being raped. I lost my job, plus all of my savings worth 10,000 dollars because the organization could not stain their image by having a staff member who was known to be single and pregnant.
Well, all were strong reasons, but not good enough for me to end another person’s life! I could not imagine ending the life of this cute little boy (who will turn out to be great in this world) because of some wicked man’s actions. The rapist was indeed wicked and deceitful in every respect, as it turned out he was never a doctor at Johns Hopkins hospital — we found that out in the process of trying to arrest him. The hospital administration never had such a person.
When my son was born, I named him Ellis, meaning “consecrated for God.” I am glad I kept my baby, even though I have paid a heavy price for him. Having grown up an orphan and knowing how hard it has been for me to get by, I am determined to take good care of my son. I want to love him, provide for his needs and guide him into the best person ever. I want him to have the best education, get the best medical care and have all the good things to help him grow. At the moment, this means I have to get a job. But right now, a job means I having to be away from my son nine hours each day, and that is not what I want either. I want to be there for him.My dream would be if I still had my 10000 dollars, I would set up a grocery store, employ one or two people and still have enough time for my son. I am determined never to be crushed by poverty to the point of looking for that rapist so he would provide for my baby. May the good Lord help me to never sink to that level of desperation. I never want that wicked man to set his eye on my son all the days of his life nor hear that he exists, which is why I have chosen not to disclose my last name publicly.
While pregnant with my son, in my search for hope, I got online and found Save The 1’s website. I am thankful to great people I have met through Save The 1 who have similar stories — people like Rebecca who have given me hope and a reason to make it. I know they understand my pain and how I can overcome. I hope to be trained to help women in the same situation in my country, and I’ve already learned so much from the others with this organization. I will always look up to them. God bless Save The 1 highly.
Currently, I am struggling financially. As I said, I am an orphan myself, so I have no family to lean on. I cannot pay rent, so my landlord has shut off power and is threatening to evict us. But my son Ellis is worth every struggle and I will never regret having him.
BIO: Hellen, a mother who became pregnant by rape, is from Kampala, Uganda and has a B.A. in social sciences. She became active with Save The 1 during her pregnancy, since over a year ago, and is now a pro-life blogger for Save The 1. If you are able to assist Hellen in any way, please email her at hellenrhoda1@gmail.com. We tried getting various NGO’s and other non-profits to assist, but were told her needs fell outside of their mission, or outside of their geographical region.