Thankful I Didn’t Kill My Innocent Baby Conceived in Rape, by Aimee Kidd

Last Monday, I received a call from the District Attorney’s office stating they did not have enough evidence to file criminal charges of any kind against my rapist.  I literally collapsed on the floor upon hearing the news.  The wind was knocked right out of me.  That wasn’t enough, however.  The story of my rape, pregnancy, and birth of my child made a lot of local news headlines because of my demands for justice, so when the DA made the nine page memo describing why he wouldn’t pursue any criminal charges against my rapist public, the media had a field day.  Within a couple hours, my face was once again splashed all across the television and social media.

            The reaction on social media was nothing short of disgusting and devastating.  Sure, I had support from friends and family, even from strangers who have been following my story, but the nasty comments were hard to ignore. 

I read things like:

“Your credibility went out the window when we found out you had a bunch of different kids with a bunch of different fathers.”

            “You’re a known drunken whore.”

            “You are a liar.”

            “You belong in jail.”

But the worst was:

 “I feel sorry for that poor baby.  I hope the father will finally get to see his baby.”

Immediately, I began to pray.  I pleaded that God would protect my child.  In the state of Wyoming, telling your rapist “No” is not enough to prosecute a rape.  In Wyoming, being incoherent, drunk, or drugged is not enough for a rape conviction.  Further, a rapist has total access and ability to exercise his parental rights to his child conceived in rape without a conviction. In other words, it’s open season on women.

My mind wandered to a dark place.  I thought about the fact that, had I just snuck out of town and had an abortion, no one would’ve ever known about the rape.  My rapist wouldn’t be able to fight for custodial or visitation rights.  No one would be calling me a liar or a whore.

I wanted to slap myself.  I sobbed and looked down at my beautiful little girl and I thanked God for her.  I am so thankful God protected her, and I didn’t kill my precious and innocent baby with an abortion.  How dare I let my mind even consider such horrible thoughts, just because of the cruelty of others.  I refocused and praised God.

Having my beautiful daughter, finding my voice, giving hope and inspiration to other women who have been victims of sexual assault, and advocating for victims’ rights was worth whatever public backlash I was receiving via social media and within my community.  I was being labeled a liar and a whore.  I was being told I made the entire thing up just so a “potentially loving father” wouldn’t get to see his baby — never mind the fact that he never sought to see her.  So despite all of my public advocacy for my rights, for rape victims and victims’ rights, I learned I have a long road ahead of me with the news of the DA not being willing to file charges.

My fight is just beginning.  I am so thankful for the people who continue to support me and who continue to stand beside me.  I am proud of the choice I made to keep and parent my baby conceived in rape.  I will continue to fight tooth and nail to ensure my rapist cannot exercise parental rights to her.  With the help of social justice advocates and local legislators, I hope to achieve legislation that will actually protect babies like mine. 

If a woman is brave enough to report her rape, give birth to a child conceived in rape, and speak out against a flawed legal system, the last thing she should ever have to worry about is her rapist having access to her child.  No wonder so many women are forced into silence and feel as if they are forced to abort.  What a nightmare to be faced with the potentiality of having to co-parent with a rapist!

I am so thankful for the legislators who have reached out to me and offered support to pass a bill in the state of Wyoming which will include language to prevent rapists (even without a conviction) parental access to the child conceived in rape — The Rape Survivor Child Custody Act.  I hope other legislators will see our laws are flawed.  Rape is almost impossible to get an arrest, let alone to convict in my state.  Loving mothers who become pregnant by rape shouldn’t be further victimized by being forced to subject their innocent children to rapists.  Our laws need to be fixed.  Rapes need to be easier to prosecute; police need to be given all the tools to investigate a rape swiftly; and children conceived in rape need protection from their mother’s rapist.

Please keep my family and my beautiful baby in your prayers.  I declare God will protect my child — a precious blessing He bestowed upon me. 

Thank God for protecting her and loving her.  I pray He continues to do so.