After I conceived my first child in rape, I met my now husband Jeremy who was and is amazing in so many ways. From the beginning, he was just filled with a bright light that I simply could not stay away from. We met through our church when I was announcing for the Oregon Special Olympics and he was managing a group home for special needs teens and adolescents with fetal alcohol disorders who were participating in the competition. I already had a three year old child, I was a bit broken and felt like I was “damaged goods,” but Jeremy engaged so beautifully with my daughter, patiently never let me go and loved me despite my insecurities. He stayed with me, loved me, and helped me to heal.
About a month after we met, I moved to Nebraska to sever the parental rights of the rapist, and a couple of months later, Jeremy told me that he knew that it was God’s plan for us to be together, and that he was willing to move to Nebraska to be with me. From the beginning of our relationship, I maintained that I did not want any more children because I had a warped view of the world, and I had witnessed and experienced so much pain. He married me knowing this, and was satisfied to just be a father to my three year old daughter.
After the birth of my daughter, I had requested a tubal ligation to permanently ensure I’d never be pregnant again because I was so afraid having been raped and beaten and now a young single mom, but the German doctors refused because I was under 28 years old and did not have at least three children. So they recommended the IUD — a Mirena intrauterine device — to be placed in my uterus order to prevent pregnancy.
I would not recommend the IUD to anyone — it was dangerous for me and could have killed my baby. So a few years later, just a few months after our marriage, I was working twelve hour days Monday through Friday and five hours on Saturday at my job with a large health insurance company. One day, I started having severe pain and fever while at work. My primary care doctor sent me to my Ob/Gyn, after determining that the pain was in the uterine area. She examined me and was immediately alarmed, telling me that was cervix was dark purple, that the IUD and attached fishwire-type removal string were cutting off circulation, wrapped around my cervix and that I was septic. I was put under general anesthesia, the string was unraveled and cut, but the IUD left in place. I was given antibiotics and began to feel better.
One evening a few weeks later, the IUD simply fell out. I called first thing the next morning to replace it. Standard protocol prior to any birth control placement is a pregnancy test, and to our surprise, I had a positive test. So many thoughts ran through my mind: “How could this happen?” And things like,”They probably have a faulty test.” However, they tested again with a blood test and it was again positive. I was not thrilled because I didn’t feel ready at all. I was told that the IUD was a full-proof contraception. And since I was five weeks pregnant, how could my Ob/Gyn have missed that? It meant I was already pregnant when I was septic and that procedure was done. What kind of damage could the IUD, the septic conditions and the surgery have caused my unborn child?
My husband seemed happy to know I was pregnant, but at the same time, he was worried as to how I would feel about it. I never considered abortion — having my daughter after rape made me pro-life, but I still had to wrap my head around the fact that the IUD failed.
I continued to work non-stop but had bad morning sickness. I seemed to only be able to manage hard candies and Dr. Pepper. I was getting sick anywhere from eight to twelve times daily. As you can imagine, this caused issues with my job performance but I was determined to keep fighting through it.
Suddenly, I also started having severe pain in my right side. These episodes happened rather frequently and were at that time the worst pain I had ever experienced. I went to the physician many times where they reassured me it was just Braxton Hicks contractions. This seemed unlikely in the first trimester but I trusted their judgment as I was not an expert in the field. Eventually, the pain became so debilitating I could no longer work and I would be on the floor in the fetal position for long periods of time. It just didn’t seem right. I was afraid my worst fears were coming to fruition that having that surgery was causing me to lose my baby.
When Jeremy took me into the emergency room for a particularly severe episode, they noticed I had an incredibly high white blood cell count. This indicated an infection somewhere in my body. I was given antibiotics and sent home. The same thing happened again right after I finished that series of medication and I was then told that my body must not like being pregnant, and I thought, “Is that really a thing?” It sounded so stupid to me. I was told by the doctor, “You should terminate this pregnancy as something related to the pregnancy is killing you.” I felt like the doctor was saying, “I don’t want you to be my patient any more. You’re too complicated, so let’s just get rid of this thing.”
I had lost 25 pounds in a short period of time, and being that I wasn’t overweight prior to pregnancy, I looked deathly ill. In addition, my heart was now having tachycardia spells several times a day. I was going septic repeatedly, my heart was beating abnormally, and I was in immense pain. But there were no answers and the easy way for the doctors was to place the blame on my baby. Even though it wasn’t a planned pregnancy and I had been told a few times that the pregnancy was a threat to my life, I didn’t feel like I could manage to terminate this baby’s life for my own selfish reasons, no matter how much pain I endured.
We moved from Nebraska back to Oregon when I was about six months pregnant to live near Jeremy’s family. We definitely needed the love and support to get through this trial we were enduring. The vomiting never went away and I was as frail as ever. After arriving in Oregon and getting a new obstetrician, she quickly found the cause of my episodes. I went into the emergency room with severe pain, but I couldn’t even speak. The diagnosis was acute pancreatitis caused by late-diagnosed gall stones, with hyperemesis graviderum. I was septic and had to be flown to Portland to a higher level care hospital. The doctors maintained that the IUD issues/complications, and the subsequent gall stones were “highly unlikely” to be related, but I have to wonder how a woman ends up septic twice in one pregnancy. My obstetrician explained how medically it is a possibility. After the doctors stabilized me, I was sent home.
I feared when going in for my follow up with this new doctor that she would advise me to again abort. I had at this point become excited for my baby boy and felt unable to manage more bad news. Instead, she wrote me a prescription for pain medicine, scheduled bi-weekly visits for close monitoring, and scheduled an induction for 35 weeks. When I asked her why she didn’t try to pressure an abortion, she simply responded, ”There is no medical reason with today’s modern science to abort.” I was both relieved and shocked at this information.
Though it was painful to maintain and extremely inconvenient to attend appointments twice a week, I did it. This was the second time in my life I had heard that this was a justifiable reason to abort my child. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now I see just how common it is for a doctor to recommend abortion when circumstances aren’t ideal.
I was induced on October 26th, 2013, and I delivered October 29th at three in the m
orning in Portland. That also happens to be my birthday. My husband joked that he gave me a baby for my birthday. I joked back I gave him a baby for my birthday and now I needed carrot cake. Our beautiful baby boy was 5 pounds 13 ounces and 19 inches long. He had a full head of sandy reddish colored hair and he was perfect! Our daughter was thrilled when we came home from Portland to see her eagerly-awaited baby brother. At five years old, she finally got the sibling she always wanted.
orning in Portland. That also happens to be my birthday. My husband joked that he gave me a baby for my birthday. I joked back I gave him a baby for my birthday and now I needed carrot cake. Our beautiful baby boy was 5 pounds 13 ounces and 19 inches long. He had a full head of sandy reddish colored hair and he was perfect! Our daughter was thrilled when we came home from Portland to see her eagerly-awaited baby brother. At five years old, she finally got the sibling she always wanted. To reflect with you my feelings would be hard to express here. What I can share with you are the lessons I learned from having our son Tristan. First, I learned that there is no true risk with our modern medical advances which justifies an abortion. Delivery is an option, as well as treating the mother’s health issues. A baby passing away as a side effect of treating a medical problem is not an intentional death. A baby still has a chance at life if simply treating the medical problem. For example, a mother who has cancer and is pregnant may lose her baby during treatment as a side effect but may also have a strong healthy child: an abortion would not offer any chance.
Next, I learned that doctors are not perfect. They do not have a perfect knowledge in all things and they are more apt to protect themselves. A joke in my home is that it is called medical “practice” for a reason.
A few other reflections: had I aborted, my daughter would have lost a sibling and my husband a child. Abortion is said to be a woman’s choice because it affects her body. However, this is also not true. The baby has a body and of course that is the most obvious. The mental health of my husband and daughter would also have been impacted. Their emotional well being would have been harmed knowing they had a baby who they were meant to love and watch grow just be taken away from them. Their bodies at that point are also impacted. Mental well being has a major impact on physical well being. This is scientifically well known. So “my body, my choice” now would have caused harm to three others and that’s not including grandparents, aunts, uncles, and I think you get where I am going with this. A mother and baby are not the only bodies being hurt by an abortion.
Tristan is a gorgeous, blue-eyed, energetic, brilliant, little red-headed five year old who loves his mom more than anyone else — my husband and I laugh at this! He adores his baby sister and likes teaching things to his little brother. He also gets pleasure from playing pranks on his older sister. Our life would not be complete without him. I know he will do great things one day. His smile is radiant and he has a fun personality that never goes unnoticed. I’ve heard about ultrasound images of unborn babies with the IUD embedded in them, and unborn babies who were delivered dead with the IUD destroying their lives — if you Google “IUD pregnancy” you will see them. I’m sickened to think that this could have happened to my son Tristan and that it’s happened to others. I’ve since personally met dozens of women who became pregnant with an IUD — some whose children survived and others who lost the baby.
Tristan miraculously survived the IUD, but then was targeted for abortion, which would have been a great injustice to this world because so many would not have the great joy Tristan brings everywhere he goes. He is a gentlemen and runs quickly to open doors for others. He offers to help older people with their things. He offers snacks and drinks to his siblings and friends.
My son was called a “threat to my life”, yet here we BOTH are.
BIO: Heather Hobbs is a wife, mother of four, Save The 1 pro-life speaker and pro-life blogger for Save The 1. 
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